First, I Praise God that the spotting has stopped!! WOO HOO!! Also, some friends of ours that live out of town bought a recliner from a couple that's retiring. They needed a place to store the recliner while they go to meetings in another country next week. So, we are "recliner sitting" for the next week or so!! What a huge blessing!! No more uncomfy couch to sit on!! Arnett's cold is getting better!! Our supervisor and dear friend, Shirley, has decided to miss out on the meetings and relaxation next week to stay with us! It's nice to know we'll have help if the need arises!! So you see, Praises are abounding all over the place!!
So, why oh why do I feel the way I do? I'm just going to be honest about how I'm feeling today. I know I'm being selfish but it's just where I'm at right now. I'm on day 6 of bed rest and already, I'm starting to go a little stir crazy! I don't know if it's because I feel great, the spotting has stopped, and it's really, really hard for me not to be on my feet doing things around the house. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm supposed to be packing today and wondering why I can't be since the spotting has stopped. We're supposed to begin our 2 weeks of vacation tomorrow and now we aren't able to go! Please, please don't think that I am not so grateful that I am not packing, mourning the loss of our baby because I am so grateful that that is not the case!! I would much rather be sitting here in this comfy recliner incubating our little one than spending 2 weeks on the beach crying my eyeballs out!! It's just right now, I really wish I could have both!! You know the beach and a healthy baby!! I know that in 6 months when I hold this precious little on in my arms for the first time, I won't even be thinking, "oh I missed the beach." It will probably be like, "missing the trip of a life time would have been worth it to hold you in my arms!!" It's just I want that instant gratification. You know, I want that feeling now, not in 6 months. I guess that's the way life is though, always wanting more and wanting it now, not later!!
Oh Lord, please forgive me of my selfishness, my lack of contentment, and my lack of patience. I Praise You for this life growing inside of me. I Praise You that the problem was found last Saturday and not this Saturday, when we would have been miles from home and miles from a doctor. I Praise You that You are in control! I Praise You that You are constantly molding and shaping me to be more like You. I Thank You for Your love, Your grace, and Your mercy which are endless and limitless!!! I am truly not worthy to be called Your's.
Until next time...
1 comment:
Give yourself a break ... it is hard to get a "no" when you expected a "yes." May God's grace abound to you today.
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