So, today started out rough, again. Arnett had planned to go to visit several villages that we work in and I had planned to go visit D-village. When I woke up this morning, I woke up to a sore throat and body aches. Great, another day ruined by sickness. I was defeated. I wallowed in my defeat until about 1:00 this afternoon. I had just put Zeke down for a nap and came into our room to retreat. I knew what I needed and that was to spend some time alone, with God. So, here it is 2 1/2 hours later and I feel like a new woman. Amazing what a little time with our Heavenly Father will do!! When I sat down and opened my journal my eyes were immediately drawn to the last thing I had written last night. Here's what it says: "Father, during the hard times, help me to stop and offer you a sacrifice of thanksgiving." I then, immediately remembered the verse God led me to last night, Psalm 116:17:
"I will offer You a sacrifice of thanksgiving and will worship the LORD."
Oh boy I so, did not do a good job stopping and offering a sacrifice of thanksgiving. In fact, I didn't. At least not until I was reminded of my prayer from the night before. Thankfully, God, He's full of mercy and grace and He lavishes it on me constantly. Praise Him!!!
At the bottom of the pages in my journal and a few "divider" pages throughout there are different scriptures and sometimes quotes. Today when I sat down, every page it was like God was talking directly to me. Mending the hurt, disappointment, and defeatedness I felt. First thing I saw was a quote from Oswald Chambers,
"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time."
WOW! I so needed that because I was really not understanding God ways!! Thanks God!! Then, the following verse, Zephaniah 3:17:
"The LORD your God is with you...He will take great delight in you; He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
Another WOW!! Thankful that He did exactly as His word promised. Then, the following verse, Proverbs 3:5-6:
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths."
So, for probably the past 6 months God has been teaching me to trust Him. Trust Him with what He's doing in my life, in Arnett's life, and what plans He has for us in the future. That's a big one for me, especially the future part. You see, our term here will end in about 7 months and people are constantly asking, "What are you going to do when you get back home?" To be honest, we have no clue. I know God is calling me to stay at home with Zeke and any future children He blesses us with. I also know that there are a lot of uncertainties, which honestly, scares me!! Like, where will we live? How will we make a living ? And probably my biggest concern/fear...what about health insurance? I also know that God will provide, it's just learning and choosing to trust Him to do it. Guess He's preparing me in advance for the next thing He has for us. Praise God, His word promises to guide us on the right paths!!
God then led me on a scripture hunt, leading me to write down 19 different scriptures/passages. They all fit into areas that God is currently working on me with: Trusting Him, His promise to led us where He wants us, Waiting on Him, and Him being our Rock and Strength. I'm so thankful for God's word. It ushers me into His presence and am so utterly thankful that He allows me and even wants me in His presence. How utterly fitting, that the last page I journaled on today had the following, from Psalm 16:11:
"... you will fill me with joy in your presence..."
So, I close, filled with joy because of the Lord's presence. Until next time...
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